Don't tell me to grow up...

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Growing up is not something I can force myself to. It is a process, and a beautiful one, too.
Sometimes, at least.

I think I feel like being extraordinary. Like picking up an elephant or something.

Instead, I just feel empty.
Very empty.
Everything is gray. Nothing makes sense anymore. Not in a confusing way. I just see no sense in anything anymore...

I miss those loved ones, all of them. Close and far.
But I don't know if I am a loved one to them any longer.
I feel like I should be, and I really want to be... but on the other hand, things are quite wrong with us. And it's not our fault. It is nobody's fault.


Today would be a good day for an earthquake.