Have I found you...

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..., flightless bird?

Yo.
Morgen ist das Jahr um. Schon wieder. Ja gibt's denn sowas.
Bis grade eben hatte ich keine Ahnung, wo, was und wie ich feiern würde. Ich dachte mir, hey, rufste dein amerikanisches Edward Cullen Äquivalent (wahaha) an und quatschste halt die ganze Nacht und besäufst dich dabei am Besten mit einer gehörigen Flasche feinstem Honigmet.
Joar, wird nix :D
Ich gehe doch auf 'ne Silvesterfeier. Irgendwie freue ich mich schon, denn meine beiden Besties werden da sein.
Allerdings haben sie noch ihre Sweethearts dabei, während ich weder das Äquivalent noch mein Sweetheart habe momentan. Der eine lebt in Amerika, der andere ist grad im Skiurlaub in Italien. x.x

Naja. Wenn ich mich zusammenreiße, wird es bestimmt gut. ^^

Wenigstens kann ich mich gehörig aufbretzeln, denn meine Besties machen das genauso.

Ich dachte an mein Promkleid aus Amerikazeiten, das kann man ja nur für besondere Anlässe anziehen, und ein rauchiges lila Make-up, passend zu dem Kleid....^^

Das mag ich eigentlich sehr gerne.
Hoffe nur, ich bin dann nicht zu overdressed -.-'

Naja.



Grade hat mein Freund angerufen. Aus Italien. >.<' Ich hab mich zwar total gefreut, aber er hat total viel Geld dafür verbraten und mmmnnnh!!! Männer sind so schwierig manchmal.
Sosososososooo schwierig.
Aber wir Frauen genauso.
Kaum machen sie mal was süßes, was wir uns ja immer soooo wünschen (ich muss schon wieder an Edward Cullen denken), sind wir unzufrieden... und wissen nicht mal warum.
Tja.

Irgendwie hab ich den Faden verloren, ich wollte noch was schreiben o_o
Egal. Wurscht.
Dann geh ich jetzt für heute.
Peace out!!

It's never gonna change who you are.

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"Ich bin bisexuell, denn ich verliebe mich in den Menschen."
...nicht in das Geschlecht.

"Hass ist nichts als ein schreiendes Gehirn
Das von Schmerzen gelähmt
Das Denken vergisst und das Wissen erstickt"

...Hass ist also irrational. Ein Gefühl.
Ein Gefühl, das alles zerstört. Nicht nur das Hassobjekt, sondern auch den Hassenden.
Wo liegt also der Sinn im Hass?

Let it go.
We're all the same. Don't let anybody take away your right to be what you are...

Peace, Love and Rainbows.

"Merry" Christmas!

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So, this is Christmas.
But where the hell did the 'merry' part of it go?
I had the tiny and short illusion of the christmas feeling, but it passed fairly quick. And with it, my boyfriend left to Italy. I know I know, it's only two weeks. But still. Fuck.
I tried to make the feeling come again, by going to church.
I never go to church. So I did.
It worked. I was happy.
When I came home, it passed. Just like that.
We ate a wonderful meal.
It was yummy.
We opened our presents.
I got an elephant-calendar, a coffee-to-go mug, a capodaster, a glass slide, twilight, a diy book, empty CD's and make-up brushes.
Awesome presents.
Yet, where is the merry? Where?

Are humans clever?

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I found this story in the Internet. It makes me think even more about mankind...

Humans are clever
"Years ago, the animals disappeared. One morning, they were gone, just like that.
Neither had they said goodbye, nor had they left a farewell letter.
We never really found out where they had gone.
We missed them. Now, we were on our own.
Didn't know what to do.
Then we noticed that their disappearance wasn't a reason to change our habits.
Not a reason to change our diet or to stop doing experiments with products which had the potential to do harm to us.

After all, there still were the babies.
They can't speak, hardly move, are no rationally thinking creatures.
We made babies. We used them.
Some we ate. Baby's meat is tender and juicy.
We skinned them. Baby's leather is soft and pleasant to wear.
Some we used for tests. Dribbled soaps in their eyes, injured, boiled, burned them.
We screwed them down and stuck electrodes in their brains. We plugged and irradiated them.
Froze them. Our drugs flowed in their veins until they stopped breathing.

Of course we had a hard time, but it was necessary.
Nobody could contradict that.
Some people, of course, complained. But those people always exist, don't they.
And everything went its normal path again.
Only that...

Yesterday, all the babies disappeared.
We don't know where. We didn't even see them disappear.
We don't know what to do without them.
But we'll come up with something.
Humans are clever. That's what makes us superior to the animals and the babies."

(source unknown, translated from german into english by me.)

What is with the world?

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"Hello, is there anybody in there? Just nod if you can hear me.... is there anyone at home?"

Heeeehhhh...
What's up world?
Today I had a really weird day. Not excitingly weird, no, but just weird. Because it started out really stupid. I had some weird-ass dreams and woke up at five and fell asleep again. So I was late and was yelled at by my dad, then got to school (late), and fuck school and blah and I don't even want to rant about school here, it's boring to read!!!

Anyways, but then it was great because I went downtown with my two favorite German people at the moment and we had ice cream and got really mad at everything and debated and mocked people and it was wonderful because those two people right now... mean the world to me. Not only that they are really really great and awesome people and listen to me and are not boring and not mean and stupid as shit and whatever, but also, they really feel like they are my allies.

Take all those wannabe social people who are just really really really mean assholes... they never ever even look at you... but as soon as there is something wrong or interesting going on (like a red eye or a relationship, sometimes even issues in a relationship) they come along and pretend they are your greatest friends, just to know secrets and tell them...

I miss America so much. I miss it miss it miss it. Or at least I miss the old times when the world wasn't this .... messed up?
I don't know.
But I do know I miss it. And I want to go back and just hold them all in my arms. Especially this one person.

Tell me the color of the rain,
No one was born to be a master

Biology Homework

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It's so tiring!
We had a free week, or at least it was free of Biology, so what does he do?
He gives us a ton of assignments to do. With Mitosis and chickens and Chromosomes and whatever the fuck...
Six printouts and another six pages in the book.... I'm done with two by now, it's due tomorrow and it's evening.

I found a really great flash for Mitosis/Meiosis though.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/miracle/divi_flash.html

It's awesome, it's explained really well and I totally understand Mitosis now. I just don't know HOW mad he's gonna get tomorrow when I don't have everything. Should start working now again.
More later....

Rainbow

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I made this yesterday...
I am obsessed with rainbows and with tights. So I changed my clothes about ten times for this picture.
... I own 20 pair of them now...

The fucked up mood.

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I don't know what it is.

I think the main reason why I am in this mood is............
I'm back in Germany. My exchange year, the wonderful time, the experiences... it's all over.

The thing with this is... it's not REALLY over
There are all these people, these things I totally got used to, the wonderful things which I all miss so much it hurts my guts. Literally sometimes. It's all so messed up.

I actually mainly left the country because I wanted to see something new, something different, something not so boring. Because before, it was extremely boring. And not just boring, but stupid. The peoples attitudes just pissed me off...

Aaaand now that I am back and changed and have been free of all those attitudes for half a year it is even worse! All those people just bother me so much. I don't know if they became worse or if I only see them worse than before.

I think I changed...

Generation Conflicts?

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Today I saw a play in school. It was about... I can't even describe it in one sentence.

It started out with some people today moving into an old house with a bunch of stuff from the fifties, sixties, seventies, eighties and nineties. They thought of their own generation and while they did, they kept going back in time and the stereotypes of every generation were shown.

And then, they tried to find something to put in a box for OUR generation...

What is there to put in OUR generation-box?

We are in the Internet-era ... So would that be something worth putting in there? Who knows how long this will go on? Also, it's nothing to be proud of.

What kind of music is typical for us? Everything we listen to already has its own generation...

What kind of clothes? Fashion repeats itself.

I think that for our generation, the word individualism is very important... Everybody wants to be themselves, and it goes so far that people avoid being like anybody else just for the sake of being unique. Sometimes that goes too far. But the person as an individual is, at least in the western world, very important, that is for sure.

Still. Our generation really does suck. You can't say anything else. We don't show any respect for teachers or any adult, really, but especially not for each other. Racism... Prejudices... Violence... well-known words.
We don't know what we want, we are not dedicated to anything, barely politically active. We don't give a damn about what happens in school - and I know for a fact that this is even worse in America than in Germany. Which does not mean of course that we Germans are much better. Instead of just shutting the fuck up, we laugh at others for being themselves...

How can we even stand being like that?!
... I know that a LOT of people are asking the same question and that I am not the only person to be this disgusted about it.
Still, nothing happens.

I guess the verb "to happen" is a passive word.

But, is it written in stone that we can't do anything?

I have been thinking.

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[SORRY FOR THE LANGUAGE.]

What a funny title for a Blog.
I have been thinking.
I do it all the time!
So, what's the big deal.
I have decided to start a blog. Blogs are following me everywhere.
Friday, I watched Julie&Julia with a good friend. BLOG.
Yesterday, we talked about her friend who is in India right now, writing a BLOG.
Today, we talked about facehunter, who also owns a BLOG. Whatever the fork.

Another reason for this is... I spend way too much time on the computer. Mostly to scrobble music, but I keep doing stupid stuff in the Internet that isn't worth shit. So, instead, I might actually get involved in my own life by writing it down.

My memory is also horrible, maybe this'll help...

So, today.
What'd I do today?

First thing I did was waking up way too early, no school, grr, but a cold that choked me half to death once I was up. So I used nosespray and, woo, could go to sleep again. Then, I finally got up and had some coffee and left the house to...

meet my three favorite female German people, pretty much. At least at this very moment they are. Oh, yeah.
We got onto the train to Duesseldorf, and guess what we did...
I spoke English, friend one spoke English too, friend two spoke French and friend three spoke Chinese. It was so much fun, especially because moi, friend one and two do NOT understand Chinese AT ALL. WHATSOEVER. All I know is that Schweige means hot guy :D and da xiang means Elephant.

Yeah.
Then, after coming back home, I painted a picture, practiced some guitar annnnnnnd met my boyfriend for like fifteen minutes.

I'm in a real fucked up mood, not just today, just lately. More about this later, I guess. Gu-ess. Weird word.
Gonna have some fruit tea with honey now, peace out and gewd noight, world.